On our tour of the Constitutional Court, the legendary Lwando Xaso noted that categorization was the death of thinking. So, in honor of her wise words, I’m placing everyone into Divergent factions today!
Remember, I am just the examiner relaying your test results… so, don’t shoot the messenger, and don’t forget that you are free to select whichever faction you wish.
Don’t tell my supervisor (or he’ll probably leave me factionless), but I also wrote down my predicted factions upon first meeting you all before your Aptitude Tests. Let’s see how my predictions held up.
I’ll see you shortly at the Hub for the Choosing Ceremony. Choose wisely, and beware– disclosing your confidential test results to anyone will have dire consequences.
(PHOTO EDITING CREDZ TO THE ONE AND ONLY SOFIA THE FIRST)
Antonia- Before: Amity, Now: Amity
Our friendship got off to a rocky start after my comeback-of-the-century bowling win, but we’ve really bonded since through speaking in brainrot and our shared love for cafés. Even though she thinks that she’s factionless, Antonia is one of the warmest and most friendly people I’ve met. Plus, she’s a film major (#artsy), has a great sense of style, and is vegan. How much more Amity can you get? (Ok, you can definitely get more Amity, but that’s not the point). Let’s keep the bad vibes going at ***** ****** next year (sorry, have to gatekeep. jk, plz hang out with us at Fussy Coffee next year).
Sofia – Before: Amity, Now: Amity
Sofia the First and the people’s main character! The caveat “you can definitely get more Amity” was made specifically with Sofia in mind. No one can deny that she is an absolute ball of sunshine, and no Rivonia dinner is complete without her peals of laughter. She truly pours her all into her friendships– her words, not mine– and it shows. One day, we will have our Checkers rematch (#notsponsored) and we shall see if her undefeated title persists. Until then, I am content with being the mammoth to your walrus as you spread love and kindness from JoBurg to New Haven.
Ben – Before: Candor, Now: Candor
Well… this is awkward. It is definitely a conflict of interest to be your own examiner (information bias, anyone?). All I know is that I lack the filter to be placed anywhere but Candor. I like to think that my unfiltered honesty can be refreshing– in reality, it’s probably just annoying, but y’all can just keep that to yourselves. (Hold on, why am I, as a Candor, telling you all to withhold your opinions)? I guess I’m a bit of a hypocrite– but not enough to be kicked out of Candor!
Anika – Before: Dauntless, Now: Abnegation
Well, well, well, it’s a little hard to justify not placing Anika in Erudite after her RECORD BREAKING PERFORMANCE on the VAGH Final Exam. However, you have to bear with me– we are not defined by our grades… even if our grades are extraordinary. As we all know, Anika struck me as a dark horse at the beginning of the program. Her stealthy approach to laser tag and vibe of mystery led me to place her in Dauntless. It has been wonderful to get to know Anika through sickness (simultaneous 102 fevers), and health (clean girl gym and Kauai runs). However, even though she was true to her Dauntless roots as the Flu Fighter’s 😷 fearless interviewer, her selflessness has really shined through. No, seriously, she won’t tell us which seat she wants in the Uber because she doesn’t want to inconvenience anyone, and then no one knows where they should sit. It gets annoying (luv u Anika).
Yusuf – Before: Erudite, Now: Erudite
Yes, he has an easygoing personality and can get along with anyone. Also, from the fire rap he just dropped to his standup comedy special last night, Yusuf has really been making a case for Dauntless over the past 24 hours. But… there’s no way I can put him anywhere but Erudite. Yusuf’s dedication to the med school apps grind is unparalleled– and sometimes a bit scary, particularly when I woke up at 4 AM next to an empty bed because he was still working in the business center. Yusuf’s indomitable work ethic inspires me, even if it sometimes makes me feel like I’m not doing enough (but that’s a me problem). I hope that exposing him to Young Sheldon hasn’t destroyed too many of his brain cells.
Emma – Before: Erudite, Now: Erudite
I’m not going to lie, it was a little tricky to place Emma. Her diligent and thorough notetaking immediately struck me as textbook Erudite. However, her use of dance to reach across language barriers at Eswatini infused an Amity flair to her personality. Moreover, you can always count on Emma to give her unfiltered takes (especially at the Onesies ;)), which adds a Candor element. However, if there’s one thing I’ve learned from this class, it’s to search my soul for the single best answer. So, upon some (brief) reflection, I have decided that Erudite is her home. Her intelligence, dedication, and work ethic will afford her the power of Jeanine, but her warm spirit will drive her to fight against evil and for justice!
Selihom – Before: Dauntless, Now: Candor
Antonia reallyyyyy wanted me to put Seli in Amity, and I can definitely see it. Seli is definitely one of the most warm, welcoming, and friendly people I’ve ever met. Also, with her sense of style and nose piercing– yes, the one that makes people think she’s vegan– she would be right at home in Amity. But… Amity just isn’t quite the right place for her. Whereas an Amity member might avoid conflict and confrontation, Seli’s love for your friends and family is fierce and drives her to be a staunch advocate for what’s right. Put more simply, she calls people out on their BS… and the world is all the better for it.
Asia – Before: Candor, Now: Candor
The people’s main character! Recent pranking shenanigans aside, Asia is someone you can always count on to speak her mind and have unfiltered, candid conversations (see what I did there). She complements her honesty with a warm and caring personality that makes her presence light up a room. Okay, that’s enough nice stuff. I’m wishing you an improved ability to spell “Jonathan” and take care of your glasses on your MPH journey! (Can you plz teach me how to play Zelda next year 🥺🎮).
Elon – Before: Abnegation, Now: Abnegation
You just know that Elon would be the star of the show if she wanted to. However, unlike her (unfortunate) namesake, Elon wields a dry and subtle sense of humor– sometimes a little too well, like when she convinced me that the entire class was mad at each other because of a blogging mishap. The epitome of the gaslight-gatekeep-girlboss holy trinity, Elon may be selfless, but that certainly did not stop her from stealing the show at Onesies with her first-place act with Seli and a beautiful poem– which, dare I say, rebels against the confines of her faction? Elon, know that every time any of us say “this!”, it is in honor of you, my Abnegation queen.
Jonathan – Before: Dauntless, Now: Erudite
Jonathan fooled me a little bit with his adventure-seeking approach to bowling and laser tag at our orientation at the glorious Montecasino, causing me perhaps to go against my better judgment and place him in Dauntless. While he definitely has a Dauntless streak, it is difficult to label his faction as anything other than Erudite. His unrelenting and meticulous attention to detail is unparalleled, and his p-set and exam questions are perhaps the first time I’ve been guilty not of overthinking, but of underthinking. Jonathan has pushed me to apply a critical and curious lens to everything I read and learn. He has nourished my intellectual curiosity for the fields of global health and film, and I credit him with further fueling the Erudite component of my personality.
Paul – Before: Erudite, Now: Abnegation
Paul’s relatively quiet demeanor (at first) and pursuit of a PhD in English prompted me to first place him in Erudite. He has certainly imparted valuable wisdom about storytelling to all of us, but his selfless devotion to this course and our experience leaves me no choice but to place Paul in Abnegation. From making sure to capture our experiences through (often embarrassing) photos, relaying our weekly assignment grades and feedback (which were not always desired but perhaps were needed), and quickly answering my frantic WhatsApp message to make sure that Anika and I turned off the gas heater and avoided burning down Rivonia lodge, Paul truly does it all (hey, that rhymes!) on and off camera.
Evie – Before: Divergent, Now: Candor
I FEEL REALLY BAD. Okay, Evie obviously gives the main-character vibes that immediately drove me to declare her as the Divergent of our cohort. And she definitely does possess the personalities of all the factions in spades. She was selfless enough to get me a thermometer when I was diseased, smart enough to be our editor-in-chief for the Flu Fighters group project, brave enough to eat a tomato-basil-cheese caprese sandwich at Fugazzi while dealing with tummy troubles (ok, that’s more of a testament to the sheer majesty of Fugazzi than her actual bravery)… and, let’s be real, someone that derpy would fit right in at Amity. However, just like the final exam multiple choice questions I agonized over, sometimes there’s a lot of right answers, but one best answer. Candor has emerged as Evie’s faction, particularly throughout the group project. Seriously, we never would have been able to get the project done without you bluntly telling us that certain lines we all cherished simply needed to be cut. In a group of three other Candors, it was your unwavering, strong, and decisive judgment that led us to the finish line. Our fearless editor-in-chief, I welcome you to our growing Candor community.
Georgie – Before: Erudite, Now: Divergent (Erudite & Dauntless)
Who would’ve thought? Georgie has emerged as our unexpected Divergent! When I first met Georgie, I was struck by how cool and smart she looked– when she peers at a screen, it feels like she’s about to uncover the latest mathematical proof. I’ve been super impressed by Georgie’s editing prowess, efficiency (how does one get two blog posts done in one day), and knack for storytelling. However, her Dauntless streak has also shone throughout this trip. From Friday nights out to Sunday morning markets, I credit Georgie with encouraging us to embrace the next adventure. Georgie’s fun-loving and confident attitude would fit right in with the Dauntless initiates…although I’m not sure how keen she’ll be on jumping trains. Will she choose Erudite, Dauntless, or another faction entirely? Time will tell, but Georgie, if you’re reading this– you must be careful. Breaking bread and breaking boundaries is all well and good at Commons, but non-conformists are not viewed quite as favorably in our Factionalized society.
