Day 39
Hi again!
10 years from now, when I clean out my room and I find this big blue journal, I’ll be really excited to read the weeks worth of contents.
I’ve never really been much of a writer. I don’t love to write. But over the past couple of weeks I’ve not only dabbled in blog writing but committed myself to journaling every night. While journaling has been an amazing way to reflect on the events of the day and grapple with the thoughts bouncing around in my head, I have mixed feelings about it.
I decided to keep written records of my time here in Joburg for the very scenario I mentioned above. Some of my favorite ways to destress involve watching old family videos, sifting through old family photos and reading stories and messages I’ve written in the past. I love a good trip down memory lane so I thought a journal would be the perfect way to preserve some of the core memories and moments of the trips.
While the newness of journaling was exciting to me in the beginning, it has worn off. I find that I don’t look forward to writing every night but I know it’s my fault.
I include too much detail and spend too much time trying to include every small detail. I find that I feel like every moment here has had an impact on me in some way or another and I don’t want to leave anything out. The problem is, is that I’ve been ignoring the important distinction between all of the small details and all of the small moments. This means that entries can take an hour or more each night and it can be really exhausting to do after a busy day.
Yes, I know I don’t have to do this. I don’t have to make each entry the same as the last. I don’t have to include the small moments. But I love consistency and I want to maximize the memories I record because I know in the future I’m gonna want to read it all. Even the most boring details. I feel like everything has a place. However, this means that I might be too expositional, develop characters too much or be extremely repetitive which may not add much to the memory but does make journaling feel more like a chore. So when I first started to see journaling as an obligation rather than an outlet, I started to think about how I could reframe my entries so that I could preserve the integrity of the small moments and leave out the superfluous details. I played around with some different formats and found that just switching up the format and my mindset made the entries more enjoyable to write and didn’t compromise the content.
Taking a step back, honoring your intentions and being open to switching things up can lead to a much healthier approach to many things. While I still can’t say I like to journal, I know that the pages of this big blue journal will bring me so much joy as I’ll get to relive so many amazing moments. And despite the amazing lessons that journaling has made me more aware of, it’s still just all of that future joy and satisfaction that will make the time spent on these entries well worth it.
xoxo
Emma
