As I sit here in the back of this bus riding back from Koshoba, I feel both peace and gratitude. Though this peace is lessened with the knowledge that I have this blog post due at 11:59, I am happy to take this ample time to reflect nevertheless! I do struggle to pull my thoughts together directly after leaving a place, but I’m going to try my best.
Our first day of class, Jonathan told us “I love you all.” I took note of this, thinking, how could he possibly love us? He doesn’t even know us?
When we were headed to eSwatini, I felt really nervous. I remember Evie and I looking at each other saying, “what if they don’t like us?” I don’t really know why we felt this way. Looking back on it now it feels deeply unserious. But even though Jonathan had relayed the Mkoko’s excitement at hosting us, I was still anxious. Anxious that I’d be a burden, anxious I’d be awkward, anxious anxious anxious!!
These anxieties were immediately dispelled when we stepped off the bus, literally welcomed with open arms (and cameras!!) by the Mkoko’s. Then, smaller things made me lean in. Being fitted for the most BEAUTIFUL clothes, smiling and waving and getting smiles and waves back, dancing (badly, but dancing!), watching kids get chased by a drone, hanging out with Dianza and Khaya, getting physically picked up (?!?!).
We kept hearing “I love you” or “we love you” from people in Koshoba. And I would feel so confused upon hearing this — how are we so loved? We are so foreign to this community. They don’t know us, how can they love us? But there’s hearing something, and then feeling it. And I felt this love, too. It was literally everywhere. I felt it in the food we were cooked, in the patience I received when not knowing the difference between Sawubona and Sanibonani, in the siSwati names we were given by Zola, in the scrunchie Dianza gave me, in the BRAAI lesson we received!!! There was so much love this weekend — how lucky are we to be the recipients of it of it all just by virtue of being here?
It’s quite a radical thing, to greet people with so much love when you first meet them. I think to me, it feels so unfamiliar because I have spent my whole life in a country that greets foreigners with hostility. It then started to make sense to me how Jonathan, despite also growing up in the US, was so easily able to tell us he loved us on the day of class. He’s both embraced and been embraced by the love that is Koshoba. At least that’s my hypothesis. Maybe I’m wrong.
Today at church, Tyson said “it’s nice to be here.” We responded, “kumnadzi kubalan,” the siSwati translation. Kumnadzi kubalan indeed. Thank you to the lovely Mkoko’s for the hospitality and warmth. Thank you eSwatini for your endless beauty and love ❤️ 🇸🇿
so wholesome <3 :,)